We are all Angels: Yom HaKippurim

(Courtesy of wikipedia.org)

A women who was speaking to my mother after Kol Nidre said someone told her that she should be happy today and it really got me thinking. We learn from the Sfas Emes who gave over a maamar on Yom Kippur that this day is the happiest day of the year. Unlike the fast of Tisha B'Av which is fast of sadness and mourning, the fast of Yom Kippur is a fast of joy and celebration. Yom Kippur is know as the Shabbos of Shabbosim, and how could we as Jews that are required to be happy on Shabbos but sad on the Shabbos of All Shabbosim? The Sfas Emes gave a really amazing insight that not only gave me a great appreciation for this amazing day, but made it the most spiritual and fulfilling time in my life. Shabbos is said to be 1/60th of Olam Habah, so its only logical that the Shabbos of Shabbosim would be 1/30th of Olam Habah, and that is exactly what it was.
The Sfas Emes quotes the Gemara in Yoma that discusses the procedure of the Kohen Gadol before Yom Kippur. 7 days he separates from his wife and prepares for the one day. This is how the Sfas Emes connects Yom Kippur to being above nature Le'ma'ala min ha'teva, as 7 is nature, but 7 plus 1 is eight and that is above nature. How do we as Jews reach that level of Le'ma'ala min Ha'teva? The Sfas Emes says Fasting and Teshuva. Fasting because it is above our nature to not consume food and drink, and by doing this we are able to reach the level of angels, who not only do not eat, but do not want to eat. We wear white linen based off of Yehezkal's vision, we don't eat, and it is considered meritorious to stand as much as possible as the angels are incapable of sitting. Baruch Hashem I was blessed to stand the whole time except for the reading of Torah. We also become Korbanos as our bodies feed off of our fat and blood like that of the Korban of Yom Kippur.

How is Teshuvah above nature? The Sfas Emes explains that when we do something (like an averah) it becomes natural to us and very difficult to overcome. By doing proper Teshuvah we are able to raise ourselves above the natural process of everyday life. Hashem gives us the opportunity to obtain a higher level of spirituality on this day. This helps us with both these aspect of Yom Kippur and helps us in appreciating the importance of the day and the joy that these two elements should bring.

I held on to these ideas as I prayed to our creator and It was the most intense experience of my life. Not only did I completely ignore the Yetzar Hara who told my I was "starving", but I could have honestly fasted through the night until the morning. I was totally consumed in what I felt was proper Teshuva and striving for a connection with Hashem. There is something special about my parents shul, as its not a typical Chabad shul, its more like a Lubavitch Shtiebel. The Chazzan was a Rabbi from my community in Long Beach, and his voice is the sounds of a neshama trying to leave through the wind pipe. Im not so into the beautiful voice, I am into the powerful voice that cries when we pray that Hashem should have mercy and not take our lives before our time or when we speaks about the tragedy of the 10 martyrs.

Anu V'Ata was my climax, as that prayer gives me such intense concentration and passion. However the climax of climaxes was Shema x1 Baruch Shem x3 Hashem Hu x7. I lost my voice at Hashem Hu #7 and was shaking all over. We finished off right before the shofar with the Chabad Minhag of "the Victory March". Dancing Jumping Yelling around the Bimah I thought I was at a Breslov Shul for a moment.

I smiles, I cried, my soul was so joyful and I pray that my teshuva was sincere and accepted and that I can work to become a better Yid. Someone asked me last night if I made any resolutions. Jokingly I said, Yea not to make vows.

On a serious note, we should all focus on making our performance of mitzvos less routine and really pay attention to the fact that we are performing these mitzvos and although everyday, they are special and unique everyday. We should pay attention to our blessings over mitzvos and food and really be sincere. When someone does something for us we thank them and remember that. When we "forget" if we said a bracha rishon or achron, it is because we didn't properly thank Hashem for what he has given us.

May this year be the year that we grow and raise our spiritual level so that we can bring Moshiach speedily Amen!!!

Guest Post By Chabakuk Elisha - Shelo Asani Isha

I guess this is technically a "guest's guest post", but regardless its a great post to read, especially for someone who has been attacked for being apart of a male centered religion. This topic was discussed at a Malava Malka last Motzi Shabbos, and this post raised my understanding of this topic to a new level. I wish the post was posted before I had the discussion. At least I got the Pshat.
Check out the guest post on A Simple Jews Blog.

Mazel Tov to the reason for this post which is that Chabakuk Elisha has a baby girl.

Me'arat HaMachpela

(painting by Gustave Doré)

Hebron is a very special city for us as Jews, and just like anything truly special to the Jews it is truly special to someone else. Me'arat HaMachpela has always been on my list of places to visit, but something always seems to get in my way. In 2000 just before the intifada we were unable to go and in 2006 during the Lebanon War, I was also told to stay away. Its to dangerous of a place they tell me. The violence between the Arabs and the IDF will put you in grave danger they say. Its just not safe, period I'm told.

Have you ever driven the streets of Los Angeles or Chicago or New York? Let me tell you about the time my wife and I dropped the rent check off in Inglewood. There are cities in America, and the world that are 10 times more dangerous to be in than Hebron. However, because of the media and hearsay, American Jews are panic stricken to go to Hebron.

I sometimes believed the distortion about Hebron, and how the Jews live in fear of the Arabs surrounding them. That was until my parents spent Shabbos in Hebron in the beginning of 2008. In 2005 my parents were taken to Hebron with their community Rabbi. They must have forgot to compare their Jewish Muslim calendars because he took them on the first day of Ramadan. Well after their group was surrounded by a potential mob of hundreds of muslims, they IDF swooped in surrounded the Jews and escorted them to the bus. Not the best idea, but like going anywhere you need to know where you are going and whats going on there. Visiting before Shabbos earlier this year my mother took a taxi with that community Rebbitzen and somehow were dropped off in front of the Palestinian Authority Headquarters and had to walk to their friends home in Kiryat Arba. Not the best idea but they traveled comfortable without any fear evoked by the Arabs living there.

With all this in mind, I traveled with my wife and our friend to Hebron. The bus was bulletproof and the drive into the West Bank was interesting. The view consisted of more than lots of checkpoints, fences, and walls. There were beautiful fields and vineyards and lots of green hills. The Torah says that Hebron, the least fertile area of Israel is seven times more fertile than than the most fertile land of Mitzrayim (Egypt). The bus winded down the narrow rubble filled streets of Hebron up to the military checkpoint. We got off and observe an IDF soldier with his M-16 drawn aimed in the direction of a house behind us. He starts yelling and I wasn't sure If I should run back onto the bus, or run to the Cave. Then he lowered his weapon and we became our walk to the Cave HaMachpela.

I don't think Ive ever seen photos of Me'arat HaMachpela but I knew there was a mosque there. An acquaintance of mine said that its overrated to go there and you feel like you are praying in a mosque and there is no holiness there. His words to me weren't even worth a grain of salt, more like a grain of sand but nothing would prepare me for my first view of the Caves. The mosque is huge, like a fortress, and it was very intimidating as I walked towards it. Once we got inside and saw the tombs I was in awe. Unless you are able to read Arabic, you would never know it was a mosque as Arabic looks like fancy artistic decoration. The holiness was like a weight on me leaving me in awe and my yetzer hara powerless over me. I davened mincha in the kever of Avraham Avinu and Sarah Emanu and it was one of the most joyous times of prayer I have ever experienced. There was an absolute connection between my sour and HaKodesh Barachu in the merit of our Father and Mother. After davening i said the prayer for when you visit Me'arat HaMachpela which brought me to tears as I stared at the Stone Marker of Avraham.

The whole experience was overpowering and so fulfilling for my soul. This experience I recommend for any Jew, especially one who is searching to connect closer to HaKodesh Barachu. Ignore what anyone tells you about the danger because Hashem will keep you safe on your journey and anyone that has actually been there can attest to the experience out waying the apparent risk of coming to Hebron. Chazel and any Chacham for that matter can attest to the benefit of visiting the graves of Tzaddikim, not just spiritually, but also physically. Hebron is a special place that will forever resonate in my heart and mind. I look forward to the next opportunity to visit such a holy place as Me'arat HaMachpela.

Next blog: Tzfas and the Holiest Mikvah on Earth.

Shavuos Highlights

(Courtesy of Kumah.org)

The Chassidic Rebbes teach that you should not forsake your davening to stay up learning all night on Shavuos. Davening on Shavuos is equally important as the all night learning and if you are not able to pay attention or enjoy the davening it is almost in vain.

I took a nap Sunday afternoon with much excitement and anticipation. I woke up and went to the Mikvah and I was so jazzed that I would have the energy to enjoy Shavuos properly. And believed me its not often I can use the word "Jazzed" pertaining to my life as much as I do in this blog. It was truly a blessing to have my Rav & his family up in my parents community for the Chag and my wife and I had big plans to be with him away from Long Beach. After dinner it was just before mightnight as we made it over to the home where he was giving a shuir. He was teaching Sefer HaChinuch which is a must read for anyone into understanding the mitzvos. Most seforim break the mitzvos into 248 positive and 365 negative. Sefer HaChinuch is unique, because it brings each mitzvot as it first appears in the Torah. Thus beginning with the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply in Bereshis. It is straight and to the point. This is the mitzvah and this is what it entails and if you want to learn more go here and here usually sourcing a tractate of Gemara. We learned this for a couple hours and it was amazing to see all walks of Yidden sit in on the shuir and soak up his teaching of the sefer.

After that we went over to Beth Jacob and he taught some high school students about respecting the opposite sex so my friend Yehoshua and I learned Bava Bathra to compliment last weeks longest parsha of 176 pereks. Unfortunately I didnt get to read Tehillim 119 to complete it but it was still amazing. Now its about 2:30am so we head over to Happy Minyan which is the Carlebach Minyan in Los Angeles. We learned more Sefer HaChinuch and discussed Chassidus and waited till 5am.

This is the highlight. We have been learning for hours and now most people will speed through davening and finish around 7:15 7:30ish. Not us, Not the Happy Minyan. We dance, we sung, we davened for almost 4 hours. I started to dwindle right around the Priestly Blessing but now that I look back it was so worth it. There was such energy in the davening making it more alive than anything I have ever felt. The Baal Teffilah was the Yehuda of Moshav Band and we sung our prayers with Carlebach tunes straight to heaven! I haven't been jazzed up about davening in a long time. I enjoy davening and I feel good, but there is something about singing clapping and dancing that just gets you going. We danced with eachother, we danced with the Torah. For a second I thought it was Simchas Torah!

Once we finished my wife and I made the walk home which was surreal. We were the only Jews on the street. Everyone had either finished davening at 7:30 or werent even awake for 10am. People looked at us weird as we walked. Myself in my bekeshe and fedora. It was Monday and I felt people wanted to tell me it wasnt Shabbos. This is where the highlights end. The rest of davening was business as usual. It was nice but its what I experience everday and not by choice. The only thing that raised my soul after that Happy Minyan was the cheesecake, ice cream, and lasagna!