Ask a Rebbetzin

(courtesy of Slate.com)

I was recently in a discussion with an acquaintance about women becoming Rabbis. He told me that we need woman Rabbis because there are certain things that a woman doesn't feel comfortable talking to a man about, even if he is her Rabbi. Without wanting to get into such a pointless circular argument I responded that this women should ask her Rebbetzin. Well that set off more of a fire than if I would have argued on women Rabbis. He argued on what qualifications a Rebbitzen has except that she is married to a Rabbi. When I pictured my Rebbetzin in my mind this offended me greatly. She is so learned and my wife and I's confidence in her is equal to that of our Rav.

How could one think that a Rebbitzen is nothing more than the wife of a Rabbi? I mean of course this statement is true, and yes there are some Rebbitzen that shouldnt be relied on for halacha, but this is your Rav's Rebbetzin we are talking about. I can understand the wife of a Rabbi who got smicha a year ago, but this isnt someone who you would take on as your Rav in most cases. My Rav is in his early 40's and has had smicha for over 10 years. He and his wife have both put in time for serious learning. So how could someone say that she is just a wife? This isnt a doctors wife, or a lawyers wife. This is a Rabbi's wife. I guess unless you have a wife you might not be able to grasp this lofty concept called sharing everything with the one you love. I share all the Torah I learn with my wife and she does the same. We thrive off of each other knowledge as we grow together.

I once heard a story of a Rabbi who was giving a Drasha in front of a large audience and when he stumbled for a second, he bends down and confers with his wife! It takes not a big man, but a smart man to ask his wife something in public, in a world where "only men know Torah" and " 's are to note the sarcasm in that statement of stupidity.

Of course this acquaintance is trying to cleave to Torah from a typical American liberal lifestyle. Women must be equal! Why does equal have to mean doing the same things? I thought equal was about respect. Does a Lawyer and a Doctor have to be equal? Would you trust a Lawyer with your surgery or Doctor with your court case? G-d forbid you need the right one for either cases.

Choose your Rav and Rebbetzin wisely of course, but know that if you see the understanding of Torah in your Rav that his wife isn't just someone married to a Rabbi.