New Beginnings 5770

My Mashpiah told me a story over Rosh Hashanah that really fused together a string of Torah concepts that I had been trying to connect.

Once, as the holy rabbi, Reb Aharon of Karlin (one of the great disciples of the Maggid of Mezritch), was about to recite [the prayer beginning with the word] “המלך ” — he fainted. Later, when he was asked what had happened, he replied that he had been meditating on the words in the Talmud [which were spoken by Vespasian, but which Reb Aharon of Karlin understood metaphorically as spoken by G-d]: “If I am the King, why did you not present yourself before me until now?” Now, what answer could we possibly give?

The week before Rosh Hashanah I had been learning three different dvar torahs/maamarim. One from my Rebbe, HaRav Yosef Lebovitz Shlit'a of Nikolsburg, another from the Sfas Emes ZT"L, and a third from the Pittsburgher Rebbe Shlit'a.

In Elul we proclaim that the King is in the field! We blow the Shofar from Rosh Chodesh Elul on to remind us that we must do Teshuva as Rosh Hashanah is on the horizon. In Elul we recite extra Tehillim, ask our fellow Jew for forgiveness, and try to perform mitzvos while strengthening the ones we perform routinely. The Chassidus from each Rebbe focuses on how Shabbos is a time for Teshuvah just as much as Elul, and the First 10 days of Tishre. I only speak for myself when I say that during Elul it is difficult to remember the lack of kavana in Adar, the wrong bracha in Kislev, and whatever else I do wrong throughout the year. Shabbos is the greatest time for teshuvah and we see this from Shabbos Rosh Hashanah itself which wont occur together again for another 11 years.

On Shabbos R.H. we do not blow the shofar and it is considered Muksa (Prohibited to use on Shabbos). When Shabbos coincides with Yom Tovim like Sukkos the symbols of that holiday are Muksa because Shabbos is a greater symbol. This is not the case with the Shofar as it is forbidden because one might be unsure how to properly blow the Shofar and carry it (an activity forbidden on Shabbos) to a Rabbi's house to learn how to blow it. There is a deeper reason that is revealed by the Chassidic Rebbes who quote the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah that the purpose of the Shofar is to call the King of Kings HaKodesh Baruch Hu from the Throne of Din (Judgement) to the Throne of Rachamim (Mercy). On Shabbos Hashem is already on the throne of Mercy and this means that the effort put into calling Hashem from throne to throne can be used to beg for his forgiveness.

It wasnt until I heard this story of the Holy Rebbe of Karlin that everything connected and really put Teshuvah in perspective. We wait the whole year till Elul and spent 30 days contemplating Teshuvah and then use all our energy on Rosh Hashanah to beg Hashem for forgiveness for our sins. Hashem is asking us why have you not presented yourself until now? Why did you wait until Elul and Rosh Hashanah when you had every Shabbos to come to me? If we utilized every Shabbos to do teshuvah on a smaller scale we wouldnt have to take such a risk of a one time teshuvah deal on Rosh Hashanah.

We should all be blessed with a year full of revealed blessings that will help us build a life of Torah and Mitzvos and inspire the Yidden around us to do the same. We should merit to see Moshiach immediately and bring this Galus to an END!

Another thought is how we should be very thankful for America. Never in history have Jews had such freedom to follow Torah. We have more religious freedom the even Eretz Yisroel! When else in history could Jews parade down the street with a Torah and have the government block off the streets and have their police making sure everything goes smoothly? We must also NEVER forget Yerushalyaim and yearn for its return to her former glory with the Bais Hamikdash at the center. Still we must realize that Hashem gave our weak generation America so we could easily perform his mitzvos.

iy"H I plan to write more often especially once my blog moves over to my website at www.michaelmordechai.com which I hope everyone who looks here goes to. My art is for sale and you can email me at michael mordechai at gmail dot com for pricing and info.

Shana Tova U'Mesuka

Kisva V'Chasima Tova

A Git Gebentched Yoor

Chozeh of Lublin ZT'L Yaharzeit ח Av

Zchuos Avos article on the Chozeh of Lublin

ח Av is the yahazeit of the Chozeh of Lublin

Reb Yaakov Yitzchok ben Avrohom Eliezer HaLevi Horowitz, known as the Chozeh of Lublin or the Rebbe of Lublin, who passed away in 1815. He was a talmid of the Magid of Mezritch, Magid of Zlotchov, Reb Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev and the Rebbe Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg. His main Rebbe, of course, was the Rebbe Reb Elimelech of Lizensk, the author of Noam Elimelech. He was one of the four top talmidim of the Noam Elimelech. (The other three were Reb Yisroel of Koznitz, Reb Avrohom Yehoshua Heschel of Apta and Reb Menachem Mendel of Rimanov. There were, of course, many other great talmidim, but these four were singled out by the Noam Elimelech and he gave them each different spiritual gifts before his passing.)

His talmidim included Reb Dovid of Lelov, Reb Yissocher Dov of Radoshitz,

Meor VeShemesh, Reb Naftali of Ropshitz, Yid HaKodosh, Bnei Yisaschor, Yismach Moshe, Reb Meir of Apta, the Zhidichover and Komarna Rebbes, Sar Sholom of Belz and numerous other great tzadikim. He also wrote approbations for Sefer Likutei Mohoran and Siddur Tefila Yeshara (Berdichiver Siddur). His seforim include Divrei Emes, Zichron Zos, and Zos Zichron.

You Will Cry On the Day I Die

On Simchas Torah the Chozeh fell from a window and hurt himself very bad. Certain opponents of the Chozeh were openly happy about this. When the Chozeh heard about this, he said: "On the day I die they will be crying". This statement was understood when the Chozeh passed away on the saddest day of the year, Tisha B'Av.

May the merit of this Holy Tzaddik keep Klal Yisroel safe and help bring Moshiach immediately AMEN!!!

My days with the Pittsburgher Rebbe Shlit'a

Grand Rabbi Mordechai Yisachar Ber Leifer of Pittsburgh shlit'a

The Pittsburgher Rebbe comes every year to Los Angeles for a few weeks to spend time with his Chassidim there and fund raise for Pittsburgh Institutions. I met him last year at his Tish at Anshe Emes and was very excited to hear that he was coming during the Omer. My wife and I had yechidus with the Rebbe and gave us some good advice on where to move and how to go about getting to Israel to learn for a year. He told us to move to Los Angeles and when the time comes we will be able to go learn in Israel. I told him how I dont have a Rebbe and that I am teased by Chabad Chassidim because of this. Anytime I meet a new Chabad Chasid I am always asked what kind of Chasid I am, in case they forget that we were BOTH Jewish and that should be enough. The Rebbe smiled and told me that when I meet my Rebbe I will know and we will have a very deep connection and comfort with eachother, but I could borrow him for the time being. This left me with an amazing feeling of true Ahavas Yisroel from the Pittsburgher Rebbe.

The following Shabbos was his Tish which I unfortuantly missed but thought I could at least go late and wish the Rebbe Good Shabbos. When I got there I was told the Rebbe had just left and I was a little sad about it but was determined to spend Shabbos Day by the Rebbe. Before I left, I was given the a Nusach Sefard-Pittsburgh siddur by one of the Rebbe's Chassidim. This siddur is one of the best versions of the Siddur I have come across. The layout is outstanding as you never have to turn a page to finish a blessing or section of prayer. There is kavana under the four letter name of Hashem and for me at least that helps me concentrate better on davening and makes Hashems name stand out more on the page above the words surrounding it. For me it is a more stable davening than using the Artscroll Nusach Sefard, so I was very happy with the gift.

I walked to the shul where the Rebbe would daven Shachris and apparently made a left where I should have made a right and got turned around. Out from around the corner comes the Rebbe and I felt such a feeling of relief and of joy as the Rebbe approached me. We davened at a Litvish shul and the speed was very fast and I realized as I was emersed in my davening that I was very far behind the Baal Korah. After davening the Rebbe told me to walk next to him and we spoke words of Torah and he gave me advice on moving to Los Angeles. The Rebbe made kiddush for us and I was so nervous I almost made Hamotzi on Cake. That made me realize how foolish I am with my brachas that I have such fear to falter in front of a Rebbe but not in front of the King of Kings who the bracha is directed too. We sung a niggun and then the Rebbe went to where he was staying. We joined again for Shalosh Seudah and were blessed with amazing Torah from the Rebbe and a niggun called "Kol Dodi" which was very uplifting. We finished with maariv and I told the Rebbe I would hope iy"H to be by him tomorrow for Rosh Chodesh.

The Davening was the best since davening at the Kotel. Perfect speed and hearing the Rebbe cry out to Hashem strengthened my own cry. The Rebbe layned Torah for us and once again we parted ways. Maariv was late and the Rebbe didnt have his siddur with him so I lent him mine and used idaven on my cellphone which was very difficult. We had the blessing to hear one of the most heart felt counting of the Omer that I had ever heard. I later said I never heard Sefiras HaOmer untill I heard it recited by the Pittsburgher Rebbe Shilit'a. When we were done I came to get back my siddur and when the Rebbe found out it was mine he grabbed my hand and said to me, "I bless you that ALL your teffilahs should be heard." Speechless I struggled to get out an Amen and a Thank you and ran off with joy. The final night with the Rebbe concluded with a small tish with L'Chaims and singing with some Rabbonim from the La Brea area of Los Angeles. As the Rebbe walked out he shook my hand very tight and said to call him and to not give up if I cant get through because soon enough I will.

After reflecting on my time spent with the Rebbe I was very grateful for the experience. I learned some amazing Torah and Chassidus and was strengthened in my connection to Hashem and to Yiddishkite by having such an opportunity to be close to a Tzaddik. I hope to visit the Rebbe when I am in Eretz Yisroel soon either by opportunity, by Moshiach, or by both! I may not be a Pittsburgher Chasid but I feel I have a close relationship with the Rebbe that will help me grow closer to Hashem. We should all be blessed to interact with Tzaddikim and be inspired by them to do Teshuvah, perform Mitzvos, and bring Moshiach readily in our days Amen!

Yechidus with the Nikolsburg Rebbe

(Rabbi Mechel Lebowits Shlit"a the Nikolsburger Rebbe)

When my wife and I were visiting New York, we tried to meet with the Nikolsburger Rebbe but were not able to get a hold of the Rebbe's Gabbi. I had read many amazing things about the Rebbe and his perfection of the mitzvah of Ahavas Yisroel. The Rebbe was an inner-circle student of Rabbi Yoel Teitelbaum, zt"l, and some say was a potential candidate to become Rebbe after his passing. Nikolsburg isn’t a dynasty, but was the city where Rabbi Shmuel Shmelke Horowitz was the chief Rabbi. The first Nikolsburger Rebbe was a student of the Maggid of Mezeritch. He was the teacher to many students who became Chassidic Rebbes in their own rite, such as the Chozeh of Lublin, R' Menachem Mendel of Rimanov, and the Koznitzer Maggid. The current Nikolsburger Rebbe's father was the son-in-law of a 7th descendent of the first Nikolsburger Rebbe. The Vizhntiz Rebbe of Monsey gave him the title of Nikolsburger Rebbe after this lineage, but he had already begun to form a following of thousands of Chasidim.

My father spoke to me earlier this week and told me that he took my mother with him to go see the Nikolsburger Rebbe to speak with him and ask for a Bracha. He told me that the Rebbe was in Los Angeles only for a short while longer and I should try to meet with him as well. I asked for the number to call and told myself I wasn't going to miss out on this for anything. I called the Gabbi and he told me to come Thursday night around 7:30pm.

When we arrived we filled out a kvitel and waited for our turn with the Rebbe. There were quite a few people in line ahead of us but most only took 5 or 10 minutes with the Rebbe. After about an hour we were told to go inside the Rebbe's room. He greeted us and the first thing he told us was how to keep Shalom Bayis in the home. He told me to compliment my wife more and criticize less, and that I should share the Torah I learn with her. I’m sure he tells this to every married couple that comes in but it hit close to home. Shalom Bayis is something I hold very high and many something I try to work very hard to keep. He asked us if any one was sick and we told him about our Rav's Rebbe HaRav Chaskel Besser and my Aunt who both need a Refuah Shelemah.

He then asked me about where I went to yeshiva and what learning I do. I told him about my learning chevrusim and he commented to me about my learning of Masekta Makkos. He went over one of the daf with me that I had trouble not understanding but agreeing with. He quoted Rashi beautifully and used a Kal Vachomer to explain why both this case and another case were both Hashem bringing justice to the world. He then told me, I tell you this because I know you were having trouble with that. I understand that he could have said any halacha from a masekta and told me that I was having trouble with that. My Chevrusa and I struggled with this halacha for some time, even with the Rashi and other commentary I just couldn't move forward. This made his words really hit me, in a way that felt like he could see right through me. The Halacha was when Edim Zomemin successfully have someone executed for a murder and are found out to be Zomemin (False) witnesses, they are not executed. After he explained it I felt a sense of relief as if I now truly understand the Pshat of that Gemara.

He asked us about our names and where our families came from. He told us that our ancestors in Europe were big Talmid Chachamim and were very proud that we have chosen a path back to Torah. We spoke about our plans to learn in Eretz Yisroel for the next year or so and he blessed us that this should happen. My Rav told me to buy my wife a bracelet and have him bless it. This was the point that shook me down to my Nefesh and Ruach. I told him that I bought a bracelet for him to bless, and He asked for it. I put it on the table and he took it. He held it tight and blessed us to learn in Israel, to build a Torah him, and have healthy children. As he blessed us every thought left my mind, my yetzer harah with knocked unconscious and my wife told me after that the back of her chair moved. It was such a good feeling to be by such a Tzaddik and to have spent almost 30 minutes with him, which felt like hours. All I could think about was Hashem and his Torah and how badly I wanted a Rebbe. He told us to come to him for Shabbos when we are in New York this summer and we were very honored and iy"H well be by him. He refused my tzedakah and told me to save for Israel and when I become a rich man to come back to him.

We spoke to the Gabbi outside and he told us to come for Shabbos to be by them. They were all very nice and asked me if I wear a streimel for Shabbos v'Yom Tov. I told him no, a little embarrassed, as I still don’t feel I am worthy to don such a garment. They asked my wife what she think, and to listen to what she says. I told them they were right cause she is the boss. Right now I need to save up for Yeshiva, then next its some sort of fur hat. The Nikolsburger Rebbe is truly an amazing and special Rebbe and I hope this meeting was the beginning of a special relationship.

Shabbos with Skver

רבי דוד טוורסקי שליט''א

Rosh Chodesh Shabbos Channukah. The Triple Crown of Shabbosim is a very special time and Baruch Hashem my wife and I were blessed to spend such a special Shabbos in New Square. I had heard many great things about New Square from friends and was very excited to spend time with the Skver Chassidim and their Heilega Rebbe. Before we left we spoke with a friend who is a Skver Chasid living in California. He gave us some idea of what to expect, but even this couldn’t prepare us for the New Square Shabbos Experience. We arrived in New Square a few hours before Shabbos and were shown our room.

We entered to see a table filled with an array of delicious foods. The Rebbetzin came down and told us that she expects all of the food to be eaten because she doesn’t have room in her refrigerator. After speaking with her for a few minutes, it turned out that she was the aunt of a friend of mine, and the only Skver Chasid I knew before coming to New Square. Our friends were coming to meet us for Shabbos from upstate New York. The Husband, my good friend is the head Mashgiach for the Chalav Yisroel farm under the heckshurs of Skver, Satmar, OU and a few more, so rest assured your holy milk is safe. After being introduced to the Family we were staying with, we did something unusual for being in New Square. We davened Mincha before Shkiah because everyone needed to go home and light Chanukah Candles after watching the Rebbe light his. It was something spectacular. The Rebbe's bracha was so emotional, so energetic, and most of all sincere. He began to weep as he blessed Hashem and this was quite startling at first. With every word he said it pierced me like a holy arrow and culminated with thousands of Chasidim saying "AMEN" in unison.

The thousands of Chasidim were standing on bleachers and as the Rebbe finished the blessings they began to rush down from their seats. The mass of Chasidim turned into a massive river of Streimels as the Rabbi pulled me into its current. They rushed out the door and the Rabbi turned to me and said, "When Moshiach comes the Yidden will be running just like this". We came home and lit Candles for Shabbos and Chanukah and then experienced another first. We took a nap between Mincha and Maariv. We awoke and went to maariv and davened a beautiful Kabblos Shabbos. A nice Chasid offered me a chair next to him, which ended up being my Skver friends father. He gave me a little history about the Skver Chasidim and their Rebbe and then we went to the Son in Law and Daughters home of the Rabbi we were staying with.

During the meal we spoke of Chassidus and Torah and each sung a Niggun to bring joy to Hashem. Then we went to the Tish to be by the Rebbe, which is something that impacted me unlike anything before. I’ve been to Tish's before but nothing was like the Tish in New Square. As the thousands of Chasidim climbed the bleachers we sat next to our Rabbi friend. While we eat our meal the Rebbe is learning and then at the Tish we all come together and eat Sharayim of the Rebbe and then all bench together. The Rebbe made Motzi on two massive Challahs and twelve showbreads surrounding them and we began to sing. The niggunim of Skver are something special as they have the ability to bring your Neshama to amazing heights. The unity of the Chasidim as they sung was so powerful I could feel my neshama inside me bursting with joy. The Rebbe would recite a verse from a zemiros and the Chasidim would repeat back to him with awesome energy. I felt as if Olam Hazeh was truly the waiting room of Olam Habo. This feeling was what I was waiting for when I read the verse "Shabbos is 1/60th of Olam Habo". I had an intense feeling all over me as I sang along praising Hashem with fervency. The Rebbe ate meticulously dipping everything into salt three times and brought the food up to his mouth. Bite, Chew, and Swallow. No gorging or rushing to fill his face, simply eating for the sake of energy to learn Torah Lishma. We sang more and he gave over some Torah in Yiddish, which I couldn't understand but just his voice kept me captivated. There inside me formed a desire for Teshuva as the singing and Rebbes words spun in my head. After benching I left in a daze my mouth fixed with a huge smile. I knew I wasn’t alone as my friend was equally on the same high.

We went to sleep that night with the joy still fresh in our minds knowing that there was still a beautiful Shabbos day to spend in New Square. We awoke and went to shul. The davening is quick, as they want to have more time for the Tish. My friends father told me they used to daven really slow and give everyone who had a simcha an aliyah and guests as well but davening would go till 3:00pm. So now they daven quick and end with an intense Mussaf led by the Rebbe. We ate lunch and sung some more and then went to another Tish that was just as intense as the one Friday night. There was so much energy I could feel it passing through me. After the Tish we went to my friends Uncle's home and spoke with the family about Torah, and Chassidus, and also Kosher Milk. The table was covered with little bowls of nosh so we could cover the 100 Bracha requirement on Shabbos. Then we washed and went back for the Shalosh Seudos Tish, which was a Dark Tish. This was the climax for me. Its pitch black and the Rebbe begins to sing and he cries and cries out the words and his Chasidim repeat the verse with such energy I was overcome. I began to cry and my mind was consumed with a begging to connect to Hashem, to become a better Yid to bring sanctification to Hashem name in this world. I couldn’t contain myself. B"H it was dark because I must have looked crazy. I shuckled back and forth tears streaming down my face banging on the table singing along. Then it was silent and the Rebbe spoke and the lights came on. Shalosh Seudos went almost 2 hours after Shabbos ended. Went home and our friends who we were staying with during our stay in New York came from Passaic, NJ and we went to see the Rebbe light the menorah. We wanted to speak with the Rebbe after but that wouldn’t happen till 1:00am so we left still drunk off the holiness of the Rebbe, his Chasidim, and their home.

Our host said they loved having us and they know we had a good time if we come back which we plan to do, iy"H on our way to Eretz Yisroel in the summer. The Skver Chassidim are very special people. Hachnasas Orchim is their Mitzvah and they truely bring Ahavas Yisroel into this world. A Skver Chasid told me, "Streimel, Black Hat, Long Coat, No Coat, Long Beard, Short Beard we are ALL Jews with Holy Neshamas. We see this in Mumbai. Our Enemies don’t care if we are a Lubavitcher, a Toldos Aaron, a Bobover, a Jews just making Teshuvah, or an Israeli. ALL they see are Jews" Skver taught me a lot of unity as there were more than just Skver Chassidim coming together to be with such a Holy Rebbe and praise Hashem.

New Square is a special place, to visit but not a place I could live. Either way, the town is full to capacity. The rules in New Square are outside men can come learn in the yeshiva but they have to marry a Skver girl and become Skver. If a Skver Chasid marries a girl from outside New Square he has to move out. Its seems harsh but they don’t have any room left.

Ill end with a story of the previous Skver Rebbe. He came to Brooklyn without a single Chasid, as they all perished in the Shoah, may G-d avenge their blood! He opened a shul and soon a following started to grow. Final it was to the point that they had to leave Brooklyn so he purchased farmland by Monsey and began to build New Square. The Previous Rebbe was a Malach and all sorts of Jews became is Chasidim. The Rabbi we stayed with told us how his father became a Chasid of the previous Rebbe. He came from Israel to visit New Square and had yichud with the Rebbe. The Rebbe told him, "You aren’t going back to Israel, you are one of us." So he stayed and sent for his whole family to come to New Square and now they are 4th Generation Skver B"H.

I really feel a deep connection to the Skver Rebbe and his Chasidim. Still looking for my Rebbe, but the Skver Rebbe holds a special place in my heart. He is a truly Holy Tzaddik and one of the Gadols of our Generation. With his help and inspiration Moshiach will SOON be on his way. Amen.

The Sukkah and The Ark

From ASimpleJew's Blog...

The Sukkah & The Ark

The Zohar says that the Sukkah is comparable to Noach's ark. Just as Noach's ark protected its occupants from the raging floods, so does the Sukkah protect us from all evil. The Gemara says that only those who had not sinned were admitted into the ark. Perhaps this is why Sukkos falls right after Yom Kippur. Since on Yom Kippur Hashem has forgiven all our sins, we deserve to dwell under the protective shield of the Sukkah.

(Shem MiShmuel)

Fighting to be Rebbe

(courtesy of Besht-Yomi.com)

When the Baal Shem Tov left the physical world, there was an uncertainty of who would take on the leadership of Chassidus. Should it be his son or his closest disciple. His son became Rebbe and on the first anniversary of the Besht's yaharziet, the Besht came to his son in a dream telling him to give leadership over to the Maggid Reb Dov Ber. Without hesitation he stood to speak to his Chasidim, and declared R' Dov Ber the new Rebbe and gave him the hat and coat of the Besht.

When the Chiddushe HaRim left the physical world, his grandson was asked to be Rebbe at age 18 and refused, claiming he was not worthy to lead the chasidim of his esteemed and holy Grandfather. The Alexander Rebbe at that time took charge and then later the Sfas Emes under pressure finally became the Rebbe of Ger.

So many stories of Chasidim asked to become the new Rebbe and being so reluctant. How could they do the mission as Rebbe even at half of the level of their Rebbe who was so dear to them. Sons, Brothers, Brother-in-Laws, it didnt matter who was asked, as far as they were concerned that was their Rebbe and there was no way they were worth to replace such a holy man.

What happened to the humbleness? What happened to to reluctance? Now Chasidim fight and tear families, and dynasties apart just so they can be "the man in charge" and "run the empire"

All of the new Rebbes of times of old had siblings and relatives. Why was there no cut throat fight then? Or was there and its something I am unaware of?

You have the brothers of Satmar ripping their group in half to the point that they can barely be civilized when they come together for their fathers yaharziet.

You have even small groups like Alexander and Biala where there are multiple Rebbes .

Now the latest news is that the Vizhnitzer Rebbe is ill and his sons are fighting over who will become Rebbe. How can this be? Their holy father is still alive, breathing, and learning Torah and they are already fighting over who gets to take his place?

I don't understand this in the least. Of course I'm not in these communities, so I don't know what and why this happens. This isn't a judgement on them, this is a blog full of questions. Questions I want answered to explain to me why there is such a thirst for power where there previously wasn't such a thirst.

Shavuos & Yartzeits

Baal Shem Tov

This Shavuos will be different for me. Ive been accustomed to spending it away from my parents usually somewhere far far away. This Shavuos I will be with my parents and my Kallah. It shall be most splendid as is every day, especially Shabbos & Yom Tovim with my new wife. We werent sure where we were going to be for Shavuos, our New York plans not working out after our Rav's Rebbe fell ill. Please pray for him his name is Chaskel Ben Frumet. May he have a refyah shleima and be able to share Torah with Klal Yisroel till one hundred and twenty. Unable to decide where to spend the Yom Tov, our decision was decided for us with the promise of cheesecake and ice cream. The 6th of Sivan is Shavuos as well as yartzeit to some amazing Tzaddikim. King David, the Baal Shem Tov, and the Imrei Emes the 3rd Rebbe of Ger. King Davids Yartzeit being on Shavuos interests me. HaKodesh Barachu blessed Dovid HaMelech with the knowledge that he would pass away on Shabbos. Knowing that no one can die while learning Torah with a full mind and void of interruption, King David spent his Shabbosim consumed in Torah Study, not even taking time for sleeping. On Shavuos it is a minhag of Klal Yisroel to stay up all night learning Torah to rectify the error of Klal Yisroel sleeping in. This makes it more interesting that King David who on his own accord learned Torah non stop all of Shabbos would pass away on the day when we are required to learn Torah Non Stop. How could this happen? There is a Midrash that Satan got the best of David and interrupted him with the sound of his 10 string lyre. Another that he climbed a ladder and the rungs broke. It would be good to learn Chassidus and say some extra Tehillim in honor of these 3 Tzaddikim and that they shall all have aliyot in Heaven.

Finding a Rebbe

Usually I attach a picture to my posts. It's a "minhag" I adopted from other Yiddishe Bloggers. I have no picture because I have no Rebbe. This blog stems from an experience I had this past shabbos washing my hands before prayer at my parents shul. I arrived late to shul which I do NOT like to do and this Lubavitcher strikes up a conversation with me.

Chabad made me interested in Torah Judaism but once I was exposed to the all the other types of Chassidus I realized that although learning and being close to Chabad Chassidus would always be apart of my life, I had no plans to become a Chabad Chassid. Like my Rav I wear a bekeshe, my payos are ever growing, and my wife bought me a Tallis like his. So I stick out at Chabad Shul and when people who haven't seen m come to my parents shul (they have only lived in this specific community for about 10 months) they are quite confused and some people question me.

So this Lubavitcher who i soon realized was a huge Meshichist asked me my name and if I was a Chabadnik. Regardless of peoples ideas it is still a mitzvah to respect your elders and ones more learned than you. So instead of laughing at him I smiled and said no. What I wanted to do was grab my payos and dance around asking "Do I look like a Chabadnik?" How rude of my imagination. I told him my Rav is a follower of HaRav Chaskel Besser of Radomsk. He asked me who my Rebbe was and I told him I don't have one. He asked me why "the Rebbe" wasn't my Rebbe and if I sent letters to the Rebbe. I told him Ive been to the Ohel and Ive left letters there. He said "No, No have you sent letters to the Rebbe! Have you used Igros Kodesh to speak to the Rebbe?" I said no, and being already late for davening I just kind of smiled, and agreed with him till I saw a window out.

That moment it dawned on me what and who a Rebbe is. A Rebbe is someone you latch onto. You do everything he does, because he is a Tzaddik and the only way that you can have even a drop of holiness in you, is to emulate the flood waters of holiness coming from a Tzaddik. How he prayers, how he speaks, WHAT he speaks, how he carries himself, who he associates with. All of this is the reason why hundreds of thousands of simple Jews flocked to the cities of Ger, Radomsk, Belz, and Lubavitch. They became _ _ _ _ _ _ Chassidim because of that Rebbe, because that Rebbe inspired them. Well I cant just read seforim and watch videos of a Rebbe. I need to see him. I'm to young in years and in yiddishkite to just sit down next to these Chassidim motzi shabbos and watch videos of Fahbrangens. They knew him and I never will.

I'm not going to find a Rebbe in Los Angeles, but this motzi shabbos the Pittsburgher Rebbe is coming to town. Hopefully he can give me some advice on what to do.

I learn a lot of Chassidus and what calls to me the loudest is the Chassidus of Ger. I'm not sure if they still emulate the lifestyle expressed in the writtings of the 2nd Rebbe the Sfas Emes but I truly feel close to Ger even though Ive never met any Ger Chassidim. If we can make it to Israel this summer G-d willing I would like to daven at their shul or something. I'm not sure how accepting they are of Baal Teshuvas. Especially ones that have tattoos from a past life.

I'm rather confused right now but I should problem be learning some Torah instead of worrying so much about this.