Learning How Much You Need To Learn

(courtesy of www.shuvubonim.org)

The main purpose of our trip to Israel was to figure out where we would be learning next year. Our Rabbi recommended the yeshiva/seminary that he learned at with his wife before he recieved smicha, and Baruch Hashem, that we followed his advice. My wife and I have experience learning at other Baal Teshuva yeshivot and seminaries and at least my own experience has shown me that learning Hashkafa comes before Halacha in many cases. This never sat right with me that getting a Black Hat or a Gartel was the goal when one could'nt even learn a sugia of Gemara. Because of this, you have B.T. Bochur A putting down B.T. Bochur B for not keeping Chalav Yisroel or Pas Yisroel when he doesn't know the source for the Halacha, where you can be makel, or the legitimate Heters given by poskim. All Bochur A knows is that a Rabbi told him something and that MUST be the only way. Most B.T yeshivas simply push their minhagim and their interpretations of halacha on impressionable Yidden and cause the B.T to think this is the only way.

This isnt to say anything negative about any B.T. yeshiva, because B"H they bring Jews back to Torah and regardless of how they do it, its bringing Moshiach quicker. Its just not a direction that speaks to me. This is why I can say Darche Noam, is (for the Baal Teshuva) that best Torah Institution on Earth. We learned there for a few weeks and also spent time with many of their Alumni and I noticed two things they all had in common. First they all very much had their own Hashkafa and they were all different types, Chassidic, Litvish, Religious Nationalist, Sephari, and the second thing they had in common was they were all Talmid Chachamim. They knew how to pull halacha out of Gemara and Shulchan Aruch and I'm not talking about the Kitzer. The beautiful thing about Darche Noam is that you learn how to learn. You dont rely on what one Rabbi says, you learn to listen to what one Rabbi has to say and then research yourself to figure out what you should do.

Darche Noam's faculty also is something special as all walks of Yidden teach there. Different types of Chassidic Rabbis, Rabbis with smicha from Mir, even HaGoan Rabbi Kamenetsky's son is on faculty. So for those critical of Darche Noams "lack of" hashkafa will have no problem finding a Rabbi to latch on to and seek for guidance.

Our plan iy"H is to start next summer and go a full year and see where we are at. We went to shuir's at other yeshivas and I had a chevrusa at another and just looking at the people at other yeshivas I knew Darche Noam was where I need to be. At Darche Noam not to many put in the time learning to leave and go clubbing in Tel Aviv at night and no one wakes up at 2pm and daven shachris with their Tefillin on in the Beis Midrash.

Being at the yeshiva really smacked me with a reality check. How much I knew, How much I now know, but more how much I Need to know. Of course we are always learning, but outside of Israel in the darkness of Chutz La'Aretz its really easy to think you know something.

Our experience has brought light back to the darkness and I pray to G-d that he keeps blessing me with the light until we get back to the source in his Holy Land of Eretz Yisroel

Eretz Yisroel 5768

(Courtesy of Freewebs.com)

My wife and I returned home Wednesday afternoon from a 30 day learning excursion in Eretz Yisroel. What I really mean to say is we left home to come back to Long Beach after 30 days. As a Jew especially once you have experienced the beauty of Israel, realize that Eretz Yisroel is your home, and wherever you are in Galus is not.

Therefore, for the next 30 days iy"H this blog is going to be very busy. I have so much to write about, and every day was so eventful that it deserves its own post. This initial post serves are a launch pad to express the anticipation before and after our experience and all the trials and tribulations we endured to get there.

Getting to Israel is expensive, and when you get there it doesn't stop. With a weak dollar against the shekel you now have 25% less shekels than you did in 2006. Fuel prices adding hundreds onto plane tickets, rent exploding in Jerusalem. Even before we left the Yetzer Hara was deviously making us want to give up. Unexpected financial burdens and lack of financial help was also fuel in the fire of despair. I knew that I must trust in Hashem and that if I did, not only would we get to Israel but regardless of what happened it would all be to our spiritual benefit.

We sought advice from someone and he told us, "learning in Israel for one week is like learning in Chutzla Artez for one month." Now that I sit here after learning in Eretz Yisroel for one month, I can say that I learned more than six months here in America. I have such a different outlook on life and such a strengthened closeness to Hashem, which I pray such a feeling is mutual.

So please check back and give me your thoughts on my thoughts...

Dreams of Geulah

B"SD

My wife said it perfect "This gives me the chills..." It brings tears to the rims of my eyes and such words reinforce my dedication to Hashem, His Torah, and our People.

Mystical Paths writes...

The following story is going around within religious circles in Jerusalem...

The famed Rabbi Shachne Zohn, shlita, had an amazing dream about three weeks ago. Rav Shachne Zohn has been the Rosh Kollel of Kollel Kodshim v'Taharos in Yerushalayim for nearly 40 years. Before that, he served as a Rav at Yeshivah Torah Vodaas in Brooklyn. In his youth, he studied at Yeshivos Mir and Kamenitz in Europe. He also studied briefly with the Chafetz Chaim, who had a great impact on him.

About three weeks ago, the Chafetz Chaim appeared to Rav Zohn in a dream. The Chafetz Chaim said to him, "Geula krova lavo. L'farsem, ulehitkonen." (Translation: The "redemption is close. Publicize and prepare yourself.") [The author of this writes...] I have confirmed this story with Rabbi Zohn's daughter in Jerusalem, and his son, Rabbi Elchonon Zohn, Director of Vaad Harabanim of Queens, Chevra Kadisha.


May Hashem bring Moshiach so pull Klal Yisroel from the darkness.

Can the people praying keep it down there are people trying to talk.

During Shabbos davening at my parents shul the Rabbi stood up in the middle of davening and asked the congregation nicely if "the people praying could keep it down because there were people trying to talk." It got a mixed reaction. Some laughter, maybe some silence from the constant chatterbox's that plague Torah Observant Shul's worldwide. Ive been in shuls where the Gabbi said if you want to talk then go outside, and a group of around 10 people left. A full minyan decided that what they had to say to each other was more important that what they should be saying to Hashem.

Its something that unfortunately has becoming an accepted practice on Shabbos because "you kinda have to be there" but there are other times it just surprises me. Last night we had a 10pm maariv so that someone could say Kaddish. Not surprisingly, the two next to me finished Shemonah Esrei in 3 minutes flat but what was surprising was what they did when they finished. They started talking. Talking in the little Bies Midrash where everyone can hear you without a single care as to the disturbance they might be causing their fellow Yidden. It's not that I was truly distracted or even offended, I'm just surprised. I'm surprised that after reading Tanya probably fifty times over, they would have skipped the end where it discusses the Alter Rebbe of Chabad's view on davening. They spoke throughout Shemonah Esrei, in between the amens of Kaddish and since they said Aleinu right after Shemonah Esrei, they spoke through ours. Now like I said, "you have to be at shul on Shabbos" but you DON'T have to be at shul at 10pm for maariv as a favor for another Jew. Couldn't you talk after Maariv? The whole davening only lasted 15 minutes at best. Couldn't you have gone home and chatted on the phone? I got home at 9:00 and I was tired. I could have davened and went to bed, but I went to shul because I feel its important to daven with a minyan. What about you?

Its safe to say they weren't discussing a blot of Gemara they just couldn't decipher, or a Sefer that really has them boggled, or even some part of Tanya that has them perplexed. It was about sports, or movies, or just something "funny".

We arent on the levels of the original Chassidim or anyone before them and never will be. However that has now become an excuse for trying to raise up our spirits and devotion to G-d, because its HARD to do and with much more temptation than the Chassidim of the Baal Shem Tov, its easier to fall pray to the Sitra Achra.

How can I, a Baal Teshuva, with barely any yeshiva learning, with only a few years of devotion to Hashem have trust that after many years I will grow closer and closer to HaKodesh Barachu? When I see FFB's with Smicha who are a good 5-10 years older than me acting the way these two were acting I know Moshiach is coming because he will only come when people start forgetting Torah.

Its a total disrespect for Hashem's Presence, the Torah's Presence, & the Shuls Presence. Is it not a mitzvah to show reverence to the Sanctuary or did I confuse that with something else when I read the Chofetz Chaim's Book of Mitzvot.

I dont think I'm better than these people, in fact its the opposite. They are better than me, and when they act in a holy way which I know they can, they inspire me to raise myself up. Its when they think that Tivo-ing the Dodgers game is more important than praying to G-d that I just don't understand.

Someone once defended them by saying after decades of davening it becomes routine and that the more you learn the strong your Yetzer Hara becomes. Later I thought to myself, and the more you learn the more you understand how to battle the Yetzer Hara.

I pray to G-d that when I'm G-d willing 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 120!! I will always remember how important davening was to me when I was 23. Hopefully the Torah I learning from now till then will strengthen my devotion and not weaken it.

Ask a Rebbetzin

(courtesy of Slate.com)

I was recently in a discussion with an acquaintance about women becoming Rabbis. He told me that we need woman Rabbis because there are certain things that a woman doesn't feel comfortable talking to a man about, even if he is her Rabbi. Without wanting to get into such a pointless circular argument I responded that this women should ask her Rebbetzin. Well that set off more of a fire than if I would have argued on women Rabbis. He argued on what qualifications a Rebbitzen has except that she is married to a Rabbi. When I pictured my Rebbetzin in my mind this offended me greatly. She is so learned and my wife and I's confidence in her is equal to that of our Rav.

How could one think that a Rebbitzen is nothing more than the wife of a Rabbi? I mean of course this statement is true, and yes there are some Rebbitzen that shouldnt be relied on for halacha, but this is your Rav's Rebbetzin we are talking about. I can understand the wife of a Rabbi who got smicha a year ago, but this isnt someone who you would take on as your Rav in most cases. My Rav is in his early 40's and has had smicha for over 10 years. He and his wife have both put in time for serious learning. So how could someone say that she is just a wife? This isnt a doctors wife, or a lawyers wife. This is a Rabbi's wife. I guess unless you have a wife you might not be able to grasp this lofty concept called sharing everything with the one you love. I share all the Torah I learn with my wife and she does the same. We thrive off of each other knowledge as we grow together.

I once heard a story of a Rabbi who was giving a Drasha in front of a large audience and when he stumbled for a second, he bends down and confers with his wife! It takes not a big man, but a smart man to ask his wife something in public, in a world where "only men know Torah" and " 's are to note the sarcasm in that statement of stupidity.

Of course this acquaintance is trying to cleave to Torah from a typical American liberal lifestyle. Women must be equal! Why does equal have to mean doing the same things? I thought equal was about respect. Does a Lawyer and a Doctor have to be equal? Would you trust a Lawyer with your surgery or Doctor with your court case? G-d forbid you need the right one for either cases.

Choose your Rav and Rebbetzin wisely of course, but know that if you see the understanding of Torah in your Rav that his wife isn't just someone married to a Rabbi.

Question & Answer With Long Beach Chasid - Gerrer Chassidus

(courtesy of Wikipedia.org)

I have been reading A Simple Jew's Blog for sometime now. Ive read a lot of blogs and usually loose interest but there was something different about a simple Jew and what he wrote about. This was because almost every time I read his blog it is as if I am writing it myself, except I wouldn't be so eloquent. His blog many times relates to something I'm struggling with in my yiddishkite and we usually arrive to the same conclusion in our own way so its good to get that other perspective on how to arrive to the Emes. When he asked me to write about Ger Chassidus I was of course excited but also a little scared. I know that there are many learned people who read his blogs and I thought to myself who am I this Baal Teshuvah to be writing about what I think about Ger Chassidus. Then I realized as Jews we are searching for the Truth the Emes and so if I cant find the Emes, Baruch Hashem there are other Jews to help me find the Emes. This is a way I am trying to look at criticism and correction as bringing me closer to the Emes which is Hashem. After that the words flowed. I decided I would write my experience and my feelings and if others disagreed it might help me get a bigger picture of what Ger Chassidus and Chassidus in general is all about.

Here is the link to the interview between A Simple Jew & I.

Its also found here surprisingly on JewishBlogging.com

Check out Artscroll's Book: Rebbes of Ger found here

This is what the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh says of the Sfas Emes

"The great Sfas Emes had been made a Rebbe at age 26, and was asked how he managed to garner such great wisdom and insight at such a young age. He replied with a mashal. "It would be as if a mountain-climber who worked for years to gather a team together, to get in shape for the awesome ordeal, and to do everything he had to do for so long, then reached the mountaintop -- and came upon a kid there. 'How did you ever get here at your age?' asked the mountain-climber. 'It's simple,' said the child. 'While some have to expend the effort to reach the mountaintop, others are born and raised on it'."

Non-Pshat of Mans Genealogy

No Tznuis Photo Available

When you named your child thousands of years ago, it was based off his or her essence, or an experience you had associated with this child. Now you name your child after a family member, a popular name, or even a piece of fruit in Gweneth Paltrows case. Not that I keep track of her life, but apparently once upon a time CNN felt that that was news worthy. The genealogy of Adam HaRishon is found here thanks to Chabad.org. The Parsha of Bereishis goes from Adam all the way to Noach giving either their age of death, age of becoming a father, or both. However, there is something truly amazing deeper in the aish of the Torah, between the black fire and the white fire. We find something interesting...

adam translates: man
seth translates: appointed
enosh translates: mortal
kenan translates: possession
mahalalel translates: praise of G-d
jared translates: to come down
enoch translates: instruct
methuselah translates: when he dies it will be sent
lamech translates: to humiliate
noach translates: rest

When you then proceed to form a sentence from the meanings of their names you get the following:

Man (is) appointed a mortal possession, (and) praise(s) G-d (who) come(s) down (to) instruct (him), (and) his death shall bring (his) humiliat(ion) (to) rest.

Its still a little cryptic even with my editing, but this is what I gather from it.

Adam is given Eve and Praises G-d, who comes down and teach him. He tells Adam not to eat from the Trees of Life and Knowledge and he does. After he commits the sin, and until he dies, he spends his whole entire live repenting for the sin. He never does get over it.

Please comment if you find anything flawed in my conclusion. I would love to see another angle of this.

Entomology Source

NOTE: Although I take credit for the analysis the original concept was brought to light by a friend of mine. The reason I cant give him to much credit is his translation was flawed and because he is Christian his conclusion greatly conflicts with everything I stand for. So I wont link his blog because of this.

Shavuos Highlights

(Courtesy of Kumah.org)

The Chassidic Rebbes teach that you should not forsake your davening to stay up learning all night on Shavuos. Davening on Shavuos is equally important as the all night learning and if you are not able to pay attention or enjoy the davening it is almost in vain.

I took a nap Sunday afternoon with much excitement and anticipation. I woke up and went to the Mikvah and I was so jazzed that I would have the energy to enjoy Shavuos properly. And believed me its not often I can use the word "Jazzed" pertaining to my life as much as I do in this blog. It was truly a blessing to have my Rav & his family up in my parents community for the Chag and my wife and I had big plans to be with him away from Long Beach. After dinner it was just before mightnight as we made it over to the home where he was giving a shuir. He was teaching Sefer HaChinuch which is a must read for anyone into understanding the mitzvos. Most seforim break the mitzvos into 248 positive and 365 negative. Sefer HaChinuch is unique, because it brings each mitzvot as it first appears in the Torah. Thus beginning with the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply in Bereshis. It is straight and to the point. This is the mitzvah and this is what it entails and if you want to learn more go here and here usually sourcing a tractate of Gemara. We learned this for a couple hours and it was amazing to see all walks of Yidden sit in on the shuir and soak up his teaching of the sefer.

After that we went over to Beth Jacob and he taught some high school students about respecting the opposite sex so my friend Yehoshua and I learned Bava Bathra to compliment last weeks longest parsha of 176 pereks. Unfortunately I didnt get to read Tehillim 119 to complete it but it was still amazing. Now its about 2:30am so we head over to Happy Minyan which is the Carlebach Minyan in Los Angeles. We learned more Sefer HaChinuch and discussed Chassidus and waited till 5am.

This is the highlight. We have been learning for hours and now most people will speed through davening and finish around 7:15 7:30ish. Not us, Not the Happy Minyan. We dance, we sung, we davened for almost 4 hours. I started to dwindle right around the Priestly Blessing but now that I look back it was so worth it. There was such energy in the davening making it more alive than anything I have ever felt. The Baal Teffilah was the Yehuda of Moshav Band and we sung our prayers with Carlebach tunes straight to heaven! I haven't been jazzed up about davening in a long time. I enjoy davening and I feel good, but there is something about singing clapping and dancing that just gets you going. We danced with eachother, we danced with the Torah. For a second I thought it was Simchas Torah!

Once we finished my wife and I made the walk home which was surreal. We were the only Jews on the street. Everyone had either finished davening at 7:30 or werent even awake for 10am. People looked at us weird as we walked. Myself in my bekeshe and fedora. It was Monday and I felt people wanted to tell me it wasnt Shabbos. This is where the highlights end. The rest of davening was business as usual. It was nice but its what I experience everday and not by choice. The only thing that raised my soul after that Happy Minyan was the cheesecake, ice cream, and lasagna!

Shavuos & Yartzeits

Baal Shem Tov

This Shavuos will be different for me. Ive been accustomed to spending it away from my parents usually somewhere far far away. This Shavuos I will be with my parents and my Kallah. It shall be most splendid as is every day, especially Shabbos & Yom Tovim with my new wife. We werent sure where we were going to be for Shavuos, our New York plans not working out after our Rav's Rebbe fell ill. Please pray for him his name is Chaskel Ben Frumet. May he have a refyah shleima and be able to share Torah with Klal Yisroel till one hundred and twenty. Unable to decide where to spend the Yom Tov, our decision was decided for us with the promise of cheesecake and ice cream. The 6th of Sivan is Shavuos as well as yartzeit to some amazing Tzaddikim. King David, the Baal Shem Tov, and the Imrei Emes the 3rd Rebbe of Ger. King Davids Yartzeit being on Shavuos interests me. HaKodesh Barachu blessed Dovid HaMelech with the knowledge that he would pass away on Shabbos. Knowing that no one can die while learning Torah with a full mind and void of interruption, King David spent his Shabbosim consumed in Torah Study, not even taking time for sleeping. On Shavuos it is a minhag of Klal Yisroel to stay up all night learning Torah to rectify the error of Klal Yisroel sleeping in. This makes it more interesting that King David who on his own accord learned Torah non stop all of Shabbos would pass away on the day when we are required to learn Torah Non Stop. How could this happen? There is a Midrash that Satan got the best of David and interrupted him with the sound of his 10 string lyre. Another that he climbed a ladder and the rungs broke. It would be good to learn Chassidus and say some extra Tehillim in honor of these 3 Tzaddikim and that they shall all have aliyot in Heaven.

Finding a Rebbe

Usually I attach a picture to my posts. It's a "minhag" I adopted from other Yiddishe Bloggers. I have no picture because I have no Rebbe. This blog stems from an experience I had this past shabbos washing my hands before prayer at my parents shul. I arrived late to shul which I do NOT like to do and this Lubavitcher strikes up a conversation with me.

Chabad made me interested in Torah Judaism but once I was exposed to the all the other types of Chassidus I realized that although learning and being close to Chabad Chassidus would always be apart of my life, I had no plans to become a Chabad Chassid. Like my Rav I wear a bekeshe, my payos are ever growing, and my wife bought me a Tallis like his. So I stick out at Chabad Shul and when people who haven't seen m come to my parents shul (they have only lived in this specific community for about 10 months) they are quite confused and some people question me.

So this Lubavitcher who i soon realized was a huge Meshichist asked me my name and if I was a Chabadnik. Regardless of peoples ideas it is still a mitzvah to respect your elders and ones more learned than you. So instead of laughing at him I smiled and said no. What I wanted to do was grab my payos and dance around asking "Do I look like a Chabadnik?" How rude of my imagination. I told him my Rav is a follower of HaRav Chaskel Besser of Radomsk. He asked me who my Rebbe was and I told him I don't have one. He asked me why "the Rebbe" wasn't my Rebbe and if I sent letters to the Rebbe. I told him Ive been to the Ohel and Ive left letters there. He said "No, No have you sent letters to the Rebbe! Have you used Igros Kodesh to speak to the Rebbe?" I said no, and being already late for davening I just kind of smiled, and agreed with him till I saw a window out.

That moment it dawned on me what and who a Rebbe is. A Rebbe is someone you latch onto. You do everything he does, because he is a Tzaddik and the only way that you can have even a drop of holiness in you, is to emulate the flood waters of holiness coming from a Tzaddik. How he prayers, how he speaks, WHAT he speaks, how he carries himself, who he associates with. All of this is the reason why hundreds of thousands of simple Jews flocked to the cities of Ger, Radomsk, Belz, and Lubavitch. They became _ _ _ _ _ _ Chassidim because of that Rebbe, because that Rebbe inspired them. Well I cant just read seforim and watch videos of a Rebbe. I need to see him. I'm to young in years and in yiddishkite to just sit down next to these Chassidim motzi shabbos and watch videos of Fahbrangens. They knew him and I never will.

I'm not going to find a Rebbe in Los Angeles, but this motzi shabbos the Pittsburgher Rebbe is coming to town. Hopefully he can give me some advice on what to do.

I learn a lot of Chassidus and what calls to me the loudest is the Chassidus of Ger. I'm not sure if they still emulate the lifestyle expressed in the writtings of the 2nd Rebbe the Sfas Emes but I truly feel close to Ger even though Ive never met any Ger Chassidim. If we can make it to Israel this summer G-d willing I would like to daven at their shul or something. I'm not sure how accepting they are of Baal Teshuvas. Especially ones that have tattoos from a past life.

I'm rather confused right now but I should problem be learning some Torah instead of worrying so much about this.